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Being Fat

I am not fat, I am not skinny.  I am barley average, I have a medium sized pot belly.  The years of not eating right and exersising have begun to catch up. 

I have had a fasination with fat people for some time now.  I don't find them attractive though.  I don't have any kind of fetish.  I just have this wierd fasination.  Like I am always wondering what it would like to be fat.  I wonder what drives people that were never fat to become fat.  Everyday I get a Starbucks and in the store, most customers are fat.  I often wonder, will someone else notice me when I am fat and think the same thoughts I think.  I don't think I will ever get fat, its not in my genitic make up.  I think I might be bald though, but I will save that for diferent post.  Now, if your fat, and reading this.  Please know I am not trying to cut you or any fat person.  I watch a lot of shows about fat people.  There was one about a clinic in NY.  I don't remember the name.  Just that there was all kind of fat people and they were there to loose wieght becuse if they didn't they might die.  And knowing this, they would have food delivered from the outside and break thier doctors advice. 

Now, this post is intended to raise some questions.  I don't think anyone can or will answer them.  But, they will now be on the internet.

What do fat people think about being fat?  When does a fat person realize they are fat?  Do most fat people want to loose weight?  And, if so, when they are eating lots of unhealth food, do they feel bad?

Now, I am not fat.  I don't want to be fat.  But over the past few years I have watched my mid section grow.  I have stood on the scale and watched the numbers go up.  I am 5' 9" and the last time I wieghed my self the scale said 177.9.  My weight has ben as high as 182, but it fluctuates a lot.  Every day it goes up or down a pound.  I keep telling my self if my average wieght goes above 180 then I will need to do something.  The thing is, I know that there are people in worse shape then me.  And sadly, that is how I justify my own weight and apperance.  I know its not right to compare.  But, as a society, that has been how we are... its how we roll.

No point to this point.  Its just something I have to get off my chest.  If your fat, I hope you didn't take offense to my thoughts, that was not my intention.  If your not fat, I also hope you didn't take offense.  If your becoming fat, I hope you take notice, other people are.

Random Thoughts and Thinking

Often I go about my day and some random thought that I could blog about comes into my mind.Well, as you can see, I don't really do that at all or very seldom.  Usually its an observation about something I am either involved in or observing someone else doing, thinking or acting.    And it seems that when I do blog about it I just can't get my thought to come out as I intended.  Does anyone else have this problem?

I know that their are many good writers out there.  I know I am not one of them.  I hate typing, I don't have the skills to write things that people will read, and I would rather read a blog and make a comment, then actually write a blog to have comments left for me.

In previous posts I have stated my goals, opinions, and just generally said what my blog is about or what I want it to be about.  Now, here is the problem about making statements like that.  If you don't follow through people won't care anymore.  Its like someone who says they are going to stop smoking.  You later see them smoking.  Or, its like someone who preaches on how they are going to loose wieght.  You later see them pigging out and not losing any weight. 

So, I am know making a new statement.  I am not going to make any statements.  Did you get that? (I underlined it for you).  Effective immediately, I am resending any previous statements or promises or goals.  That is not to say that I don't want to do what I have said I will do.  But I don't want to be bound by those things any longer. Does that make since? Have I made my self clear?

I am aware that my blog, like the many, many other ones, isn't popular.  I realize that I don't have any readers waiting for my next post with anticipation.  Who do I think I am, right?  I am just like you.  I am searching for meaning and purpose on the World Wide Web.  I have thought and bought many domain names.  I have searched and browsed many opportunities.  Ultimately, I have decided my goals will be my own.  I have decided to be transparent with out losing my private thoughts. 

So, at this point, if your still reading, you might be asking yourself what all of this means (or at the very least why am I still reading).  I have to say its because I am a blogger.  I said it.  I am a blogger and I am a person who has things to blog about.  I don't want to bore you with the new shoes I am thinking about buying, however, I don't want you to think I won't want to tell you about them if I do decide to buy them new shoes.

In conclusion, I would like to end by saying I really have had fun with this entry.  I hope you will continue reading my blog.  But, if you don't, I also want to say its okay.  I too have found many blogs very boring and not had any desire to go back to see any new posts. 

End.